On the last ferry of the night in New York, passengers and crew are hunted by a merciless rat, and what should have been a peaceful crossing turns into a bloody massacre.
Posted: November 7, 2025
I honestly don’t even know where to begin with Screamboat. I only gave this thing a chance because I’m a fan of David Howard Thornton and his work in the Terrifier movies. But man… this is one he probably wishes he could quietly erase from his résumé.
It really wouldn’t have mattered who played Steamboat Willie as the character looked like a reject from a haunted sock puppet show. Every time he showed up, all I could think of was Leprechaun… only worse. From certain angles, he even looked completely flat, like he’d just been run over by an actual steamroller. And don’t get me started on the endless close-ups, half the time I couldn’t even tell what I was looking at.
It honestly makes me wonder who greenlights a film like this. Are producers sitting in a room saying, “Yeah, this looks awesome! Let’s do it!”? And why would any studio, no matter how small, want to slap their name on it? I get that this isn’t Paramount or 20th Century Fox, but still. Did they even watch the movie before approving it? Personally, I wouldn’t put a single dollar into funding something like this. But hey, to each their own.
As for the acting… well, let’s just say it wasn’t exactly Oscar season material. Allison Pittel (Selena) was probably the only one who gave a halfway decent performance, and Jesse Posey (Pete) wasn’t terrible either. The rest? Yeah, they might want to keep their day jobs. When that birthday group of girls showed up, I found myself actually hoping they’d be the first to die, and not just because of the script. Anyone who talks and acts like that in real life would deserve to get chased by a mutant mouse monster.
Now, these “public domain horror twists”, you know, Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, Bambi: The Reckoning, and now Screamboat — always make me roll my eyes. It’s the same formula: take a beloved childhood story, throw in blood and bad acting, and call it edgy. 99% percent of the time, it’s garbage. And guess what? This one proudly keeps that streak alive. I knew it was going to be bad going in, but I was hoping, maybe, just maybe it’d be that 1% exception. Nope.
I’ll give credit where it’s due, a few of the death scenes were actually decent, and I always enjoy some solid splatter. But others looked laughably fake. For example, when the cop gets his hand smashed with a hammer, it suddenly shrinks to the size of a toddler’s hand. Either the FX team completely dropped the ball or they did it on purpose as a joke. Either way, it looked ridiculous. I get that this isn’t a big-budget movie, but come on, if you’re going to make a low-budget slasher, at least make the kills look believable.
Look, there will always be people who enjoy these kinds of movies, and that’s fine. But even for a B-movie, Screamboat sinks hard. I’m not here to tell anyone what to like, but I’d highly recommend skipping this one and finding something, anything else to watch.
That said, if you want to watch a painfully bad horror flick just to laugh at it, then sure, go ahead and climb aboard. There are a couple of kills that are entertaining enough to justify the ride. Just don’t expect this boat to stay afloat for long. 🤷♂️
Overall Verdict: This movie should sink to the bottom of the Hudson on the steamboat where it belongs.
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