Posted: November 14, 2025
What do you get when you mash together Conan the Barbarian, Army of Darkness, The Toxic Avenger, and Big Trouble in Little China? The answer is simple: you get Deathstalker. This remake of the 1983 cult classic is, in its own fabulous way, fantastic.
Just not in the way you might expect. If you’re thinking gripping storytelling, masterful CGI, or award-worthy performances, yeah, none of that applies here. So why is it so good? Honestly, it’s one of those things you have to experience to fully understand. I can absolutely see this becoming a modern-day cult remake that people obsess over for years.
What Deathstalker does have is a glorious lineup of amazingly terrible-but-perfect costumes, practical effects galore, almost no CGI, and set design that feels lovingly ripped straight out of a garage workshop in 1986. The soundtrack blasts pure 80s hair-metal energy, which makes sense considering the film was produced by Slash from Guns N’ Roses. Need I say more?
Even though it’s not officially labeled a comedy, that’s exactly what it plays like. The one-liners and constant banter are top-tier ridiculousness. Not laugh-out-loud funny, but “I can’t believe they said that” funny. The gore, the monsters, the foam-and-latex everything… it’s all so intentionally absurd that it becomes genuinely entertaining. If this movie tried to be serious, it wouldn’t work at all. But because it leans into the cheese, it shines. The monster mouths barely move when they talk, and the stop-motion bits only add to the charm. And yes, there’s plenty of nonstop action to keep you hooked.
The plot? Simple. Deathstalker, played by Daniel Bernhardt, is on a quest to lift a curse. That’s all you really need to know. The acting is, well, amazingly atrocious in the best possible way. Not Oscar-worthy, obviously, but so hilariously earnest that you can’t help but appreciate it. Honestly, this is one of those movies I’d love to have been in, because it looks like the cast had a blast.
You’d swear this was filmed in the 80s, which is exactly the point. It nails what a remake should be: not a CGI-fest, but a loving recreation of the original style. Honestly, if Star Wars had leaned more into practical effects instead of going full CG neon, I might’ve enjoyed the newer films a lot more.
All I can really say is: go watch Deathstalker. I enjoyed it so much I didn’t want it to end. Sure, some people will say it’s dumb or terrible, but that just means they don’t understand what the movie is trying to do. It’s supposed to be this way, and that’s exactly what makes it great. I guarantee it’ll keep you entertained from start to finish. And if it doesn’t… I’ll assume you mostly watch rom-coms or Lifetime originals.
Overall Verdict: Incredibly cheesy and fantastic all at the same time! You'll watch for the action, but stay for the humor, costumes, and laugh-out-loud effects.
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